I first met “T” about 16 years ago. We both worked for the same company – me in the home office – he out in the field. He was previously in the U.S. Navy and we got to know one another. Great guy. Great friend. Crazy like me. Workaholic. Fabulous sense of humor. And married.
In the time since, we’ve both left that company and have worked other jobs, but still managed to keep in touch from time to time. “T” even spent five years working for a security firm in the Middle East. During our first visit with one another after he left the firm, he told me incredible stories of his time there. I’m amazed he didn’t get killed with all the close calls he experienced. I was hearing the stories his wife didn’t want to hear. Can you blame her? So many close calls. “T” definitely has a guardian angel watching over him. Lucky bastard.
I do care a lot for “T” and know nothing will ever come of it since he is married. I love talking with him, even if it is once a year, as he is always able to make me laugh my butt off.
But I also feel sad after we hang up — because as much as I enjoy talking and laughing with “T”, I just serves as a reminder that I don’t have the special someone in my life. Not that I want it to be him, necessarily, but I’d like it to be someone like him. Someone who makes me laugh, makes me feel attractive, and someone who really does care for me.
His wife is a lucky woman to have a man like “T” in her life. Is it so bad I want the same?
Posted in Friends
When I get bored enough, I’ll do Google searches on people from my past. It’s a way to see what they’re up to and if anything is new. Earlier tonight, I did just that for John. I started searching for him in Facebook. I wasn’t able to find his profile – one I knew he had since he had sent me a ‘friend request’ quite some time ago but I had ignored. So I then searched for him in Google. It didn’t take long to find his obituary in the local newspaper.
I met John about 7 years ago when I made a go of it with on-line dating. John was about 10 years older than me, but we really connected in a way I hadn’t with anyone else before. We had great conversations – a lot of laughs – and a lot of great fun. He was a terrific writer and had written a piece about his experiences at Woodstock. I hope I still have it here somewhere. . .
He was such fun to be around – you hardly noticed he was a quadriplegic. Yes, I had to feed him every time we went out to eat. He was surprisingly independent despite the constant care he needed. He had an amazing attitude about it all. What were his choices? The first time we discussed his paralysis and the accident that lead to his spinal injury, I asked him if he still walked in his dreams. He told me that he did.
What broke us up was his illegal drug use and lying to cover it up. I definitely understood his need to escape from his reality, but it wasn’t a trip (ha ha pun intended) that I wanted to take with him. So we mutually agreed to part ways.
From time to time I would get emails from him. Shortly after I joined Facebook, I received a ‘friend request’ from him – one I ignored. I really didn’t want to get sucked back into his life – his drug use – his lies.
Tonight I learned that he died back in December. The obit did not mention what he died from, but I’m guessing it had to do with his physical condition. I am sad at the loss of his life. He was only 55 years old. Life is so short and precious, yet few of us really take the time to appreciate what we have.
John, I hope you’re dancing the night away, my friend. You certainly deserve it.